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‘Pecan Pie’

As copy editor of VICE.com, it’s my job to read every word that appears on our site and make sure everything is in its right place—that all the commas and semicolons are where they need to be, names and places are spelled correctly, and “fuccboi” is written in the proper style. Over the course of the day, some sentences from our stories catch my eye, usually because they’re good or funny or odd or compelling in some way. Here they are now, presented with zero context, for the week of September 11. To find out why they exist or how they were used, simply click the link for the full story.

Who drew the dicks?

Pecan pie.

How do you produce more saliva when giving oral to a guy?

You know he woke up that morning and had his breakfast ruined.

Has Sean Spicer ever seen Trump in the nude?

You concealed a memory card of footage in your anus throughout this process.

Cheese is essentially contraband here, too.

I also worked at a poultry shop once.

It’s a time to take pharmaceuticals.

He ate fleas to avoid exterminators.

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